I think i sorta joined a cult last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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