I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
