he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
