I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
