No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
