I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
