GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
