Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
