the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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