Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
