You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
