My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
