The brown eye won't let me do that either.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
