You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
