Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
