You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
