so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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