I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
