i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
