he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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