what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
