We named our party play list daddy issues
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
as a side note pls kill me
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