I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
