I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
