stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
