2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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