You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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