Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
