I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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