That's intense
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
