Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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