All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
