about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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