Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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