Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
