Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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