what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
