so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
