guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
