That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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