she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my poor anus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
