Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
