We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
