I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This baby is an asshole
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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