yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
