who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
