Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
