ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I deserve this hangover.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
