its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
