People with herpes should wear stickers.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When are your genitals available?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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