thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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