She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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