I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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